"Up from here" Chapter 12: Alturas
We moved from Tulelake, California to Alturas, California in October of 2005. We moved so I could substitute teach as a way to get a break once in while from taking care of Mom 24/7. They would have to call me the day before so I could make arrangements for a caregiver to watch Mom. Most of the time they called me to substitute at Arlington Elementary School in Canby, California about 20 miles west of Alturas, California.
My first time as a substitute teacher was at the Modoc Middle School and before we moved from Tulelake, California to Alturas, California. I was still looking for a place to move to in Alturas, California back in August of 2005.
There were three places in total Mom and I looked at in the Alturas, California area when I was trying to find a place for Mom and I to relocate to in Alturas, California so I could substitute teach for Modoc Unified School District. The first place Mom and I drove down to from Tulelake, California to see was behind Country Hearth Restaurant and Bakery on Main Street in Cedarville California in Modoc County,
It was a Two Bedroom Mobile Home behind the Country Hearth Restaurant and Bakery on Main Street. Two Bedroom Mobile Home with a large fenced yard for $375.00 per month. Unfortunately, it did not work out because there was a foundation problem with the property. I found out about it from the person that interviewed me for the after-school position.
The second place I looked at was a One Bedroom Mobile Home located on a half acre in Alturas, California off of Pencil Road that was being sold by Dick Steyer of Modoc Reality. The first time Dick Steyer met Mom, Feisty and I after the rental fell through in Cedarville California. Dick Steyer was not able to rent it to us because he did not want to see Mom and I move in and then have to move out because the rental was still in probate and the sale was still pending, but he would give me a call later on that day with an answer. Dick Steyer called with the bad news to let us know that he could not rent it to us because the deal to sell it was approved. I saw the ad in the Modoc County Record in Alturas, California.
And the third place I checked into happened by chance that the first day I substituted at Modoc Middle School I met another teacher Kathryn G. in the break room. She mentioned her husband Bill had an older 1978 4-bedroom double wide in a residential area in Alturas, California. She said she would mention to her husband that we were looking for a place to live in Alturas, California and I could call and talk to him about it and make an appointment to see it.
To: Kathryn
Sent: Saturday, September 24, 2005 10:06 AM
Subject: James Garland the Guest Teacher for Mr. Forrester's class...
Good Morning Kathryn,
This is James Garland the Guest Teacher for Mr. Forrester's class, the last two days. I wanted to send you an email this morning, to touch base with you about the rental you might have available, for my Mom and I in Alturas. I will try to call you, later on, today, to set an appointment time, for my Mom and I to come down to Alturas, and see the mobile, and at the same time, introduce you to my Mom. I really had a great time the last two days, as a guest teacher.
By the way, what did you think about that fire drill 5th period, and on a rainy day? Take one guess as to what happened? One of my students accidentally hit the fire alarm with a football. I tell you I will never forget my first time as a guest teacher. For my first experience as a substitute teacher, I have had an experience that I will never forget. I will be able to talk about my first experience as a substitute teacher for many years to come.
Well, take care and I will talk to you soon,
James Garland
530-667-2607
Re: James Garland the Guest Teacher for Mr. Forrester's class...?
From: Bill & Kathryn
Sent: Sat 9/24/05 10:23 PM
To: James Garland
Hello James,
I'm Kathryn's husband Bill. I will be working on the rental Sunday, Sept. 25 and Monday, Sept. 26. I will be happy to show you the residence any time on either of those days. Please feel free to call Kathryn at home or me, as I will have my cell phone. The house is located at 1605 N. East A Street in Brooks Park. From Tulelake, you will come into town on 299 going east. When you come to the flashing red light at main street stay on 299 and continue East until you come to Modoc Engines then turn left on East Street you will come to a 4-way stop, cross the railroad tracks and take an immediate right into Brooks Park. The road will bend to the left and the residence will be the second house on your left. It is a cream colored house with green trim. It's very easy to find. Thank You, I'm looking forward to meeting both you and your mother.
BG
To: Bill & Kathryn
Sent: Sunday, September 25, 2005 1:08 AM
Subject: Bill & Kathryn Rental >
Hello Bill & Kathryn,
Thanks for replying to my email.
Sunday would be a better day for me, just in case Monday I might be called to go to work somewhere else in the school district. However, before I leave I will call you to make sure you are there. And I also look forward to meeting you too Bill.
Thanks again.
Best regards,
James
Re: Bill & Kathryn Rental?
From: Bill & Kathryn
Sent: Sun 9/25/05 9:54 AM
To: James Garland (rocks4me@msn.com)
Good morning, Just got off the phone with you and looking forward to seeing you shortly.
Bill
To: Bill & Kathryn
Sent: Sunday, September 25, 2005 6:13 PM
Subject: We made it back to Tulelake....
Hi,
I want to thank both of you for renting your rental to Mom and I. It has lifted a heavy burden off of my shoulders. I can now concentrate on the future and the opportunities I am going to have in Alturas. Did you see the tent in the living room? I thought it might be easier to go ahead and just drop it off while I was there. I am also going to put an ad in the Modoc Record for a Caregiver to care for my Mom so I can get a head start on finding someone to help me with her. I am also going to try and put an ad in the Modoc Record advertising my web site Rocks4me.com about the building websites and teaching people HTML for people that want to learn how to build their own websites. I am going to write up the ad this evening and submit it and then call and make the arrangements so that it will come out in the new issue on Thursday. I want to thank both of you very much for allowing my Mom and I to be your new tenants.
Thanks again,
And God Bless, James Garland
IE: When you get a moment please be sure to send me the information on the all the places I need to contact. Electric company, phone company, cable, trash, and water contact numbers, etc.
God bless and thanks again.
BTW: Do not forget to fill in your name on the checks, as I left those blank. So in case they get lost no one else will be able to cash them but you.
James
Re: We made it back to Tulelake....?
From: Bill & Kathryn
Sent: Sun 9/25/05 7:55 PM
To: James Garland (rocks4me@msn.com)
Hello my friend, I'm glad to hear you had a safe trip back to Tulelake. It was a great pleasure to meet you and your mom... she is a real love and I commend you for all of your efforts to support her. You are a true saint, my friend, God Bless You!
We are very excited for you and wish you well your endeavors. Welcome to Alturas, I'm sure you will be a valuable community asset.
Here are some numbers to help get you started: City of Alturas (sewer/water) (530) 233-2512 Alturas Disposal (trash service) (530) 233-2373 Charter communications (cable TV) 866-731-5420(You may want to contact your satellite provider as well to weigh your options on this) Frontier Communications (phone/dsl provider) 1-800-921-8101 High Desert Online (dial-up/wireless dsl) (530) 233-4000 Pacific Power (electricity) 888-221-7070 some other numbers that may help you to settle in: Chamber of Commerce (530) 233-4434 Senior Citizens Center (530) 233-4438 If we can help you out in any other way please let us know.
God Bless,
BG
To: Bill & Kathryn Gouveia
Sent: Thursday, October 06, 2005 8:53 PM
Subject: Unpacking is almost complete...
Bill and Kathryn Unpacking is almost complete... How are things with the two of you and your family? I hope you did not think I was avoiding you guys but I have been running myself ragged getting the house in order by way unpacking, at the same time taking care of Mom. I have had very little time for myself since we first moved in. From working on Tuesday to interviewing applicants yesterday for the respite care opening. It seems at times my day never ends. I accomplish more once Mom is finally in bed for the evening. I also once again want to thank both of you for the blessing of this house. I am so thankful and feel blessed by what the Lord is providing for Mom and I. Which reminds me you never did say how much I owe you for the furniture that you left for me. Let me know how much I owe you on the furniture so that I can take care of paying you guys for it. In the meantime, I am going to try and to get a little rest and not work as hard tonight and maybe go to bed early then I have the past few days.
BTW: I have hired one of the applicants that I interviewed after checking out her references and the recommendation was on the positive side. I am having her come by tomorrow at 10:00 and I thought the three of us would go to the Senior Center for lunch so that Mom can get used to having a new person around us and to see how they get along and how she deals with my Mom. Well, take care and thanks again for all that the two of you have done for Mom and I. We just love our new home.
God Bless,
James
Re: Unpacking is almost complete...?
From: Bill & Kathryn Gouveia Sent:
Fri 10/07/05 7:01 AM
To: James Garland (rocks4me@msn.com)
James,
We are glad that we can help accommodate you and your mother; in fact, it is our pleasure. I do not envy you at all; moving has to be one of the most stressful tasks of all. It sounds like things are starting to settle though and that is good. It is absolutely wonderful that you have found a care provider that you are comfortable with.... we were concerned about that.
Please don't apologize; if anyone should feel bad it is us. We have had a very difficult week. Sick children, out of town appointments, meetings, long work hours, and events to coordinate... it has been hectic.
This week has been very stressful for us. I have work I want to do at your house but just have not been able to find the time yet. As for the furniture, you owe us nothing for it. Please consider it to be a house-warming gift. The only thing we may need back is the round end table that was in the master bedroom between the bed and the bathroom. That was borrowed from Kathryn's mother and we will check to see if she wants it back. I must close for now but we will be talking with you soon.
God Bless,
Bill
I did and we rented it right after Kathryn Gouveia's husband Bill Gouveia met my Mom and Feisty for $550.00 a month on that Sunday, September 25, 2005, afternoon appointment. I then started making arrangements for the move to Alturas, California. We rented it for a little over a year and low and behold Dick Steyer bought it from Bill & Kathryn Gouveia and now he was our landlord. Dick Steyer had already met Mom and he and I had no problem with Mom and I living there as he made improvements to put it on the market, but Mom and I could live there until he sold it. Dick Steyer increased the rent a $100.00 to $650.00 per month.
My day on the 21st of February 2007 had started about 4:30 a.m. in the morning just as I was waking up. I went in to check on Mom and she was awake. I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom and she said, "Yes". Mom was unable to get out of bed without assistance from me and this had been going on for a couple days. Where I had to help her sit up and get out of bed, walk to the bathroom.
The day before I thought Mom was getting better because she was able to sit up on her own and to me that was a good sign. But that was the day before, today it seemed like Mom had slipped back into not being able to do it on her own without my assistance. After seeing Mom unable to get up on her own I made the decision that I felt it was time to call 911 and have them come out to get their opinion as to her condition. I asked my Mom if she wanted to go to the hospital (Mom did not like going to the hospital) and she said, "Yes" without any hesitation.
That affirmed for me that Mom needed to go and as fast as I could get her there, without getting stressed or upset as I did during these times of uncertainty. Mom would only go to the hospital if she was really ill, Mom didn't like going to the hospital, (nobody does). I helped Mom up out of her bed to assist her in walking to the bathroom, that way Mom could go to the bathroom before the paramedics arrived. When Mom was done, I then walked her out to the living room, where she could sit down in her lounge chair (it would make it easier) when I called 911 for assistance.
Instead of being in the bedroom in case the EMT's decided Mom needed to go to Modoc Medical Center Emergency room in Alturas, California. Now all I could do is just wait for them to arrive and check her vitals. To see if Mom was ill enough and needed to be transported to the hospital emergency room and to let the EMT's be the ones to make the call, instead of me trying to take her on my own, as I have done on an occasion or two in the past. It would have been difficult and very hard to walk her out the front door, down the steps off of the front porch and into my van, then drive Mom to the Modoc Medical Center Emergency room in Alturas, California. Then try and get her out of my van to put her in her wheelchair (I bought years ago for when she needed to use it, instead of her cane on the occasions when she got tired out from walking).
The flu had been going around at that time, and even though Mom and I both had our flu shots. Mom had not had the flu that was in the air at the time. I still to this date don't know how she did not end up with it? In my case, the flu shot made no difference. I got the flu anyway where you were vomiting and having diarrhea all at the same time, but it had not affected Mom yet. She was only complaining about the pain in her left top chest area, under her breast again.
A few weeks earlier Mom had an MRI at Merle West Medical Center in Klamath Falls, Oregon. Where they did not find anything on the MRI and the appointment we had set for a few days later, for a mammogram at Lake District Hospital in Lakeview, Oregon to see if she might have a cancerous lump, on her breast. But that test would have been too difficult for a person her age, so I canceled the test right after I spoke with the technician at Lake District Hospital in Lakeview, Oregon. She had suggested it might be hard on a person Mom's age to take the test. Living in a rural area means you have to go great distances in order to have medical tests done, as not all Medical Centers have all the latest medical equipment. Majority of the time you do not find out the information you need to make educated decisions, until after you have driven there, for the test that has been ordered by the doctor or clinic practitioner where you live, like in Alturas, California.
During the time I had the flu I called and left a message at the Modoc Medical Clinic about the probability that Mom may get the flu like I did so they ordered her a prescription. The Modoc Medical Clinic returned my call to let me know that they sent over a prescription to Rite Aid in Alturas, California. Right after they called from the Modoc Medical Clinic the neighbor next door had just arrived home. I asked if she would mind keeping an eye out for Mom. Just in case Mom tried to walk out the front door and leave. Not that Mom could or would in the condition she was in. The neighbor agreed she would keep an eye out for me, knowing what I was up against at caring for my Mom fulltime 24/7 by myself with no help from any family members or anyone good I could find to help me with Mom. Everyone I knew was down with the flu too, that was going around in Alturas, California.
Mom seemed to be getting better but it was not long before I could no longer get her to eat and drink any fluids and my thought at the time it was the flu catching up with her, as it did me. And the Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California had sent a prescription over to Rite Aide in Alturas, California for nausea in case I needed it, and I went real fast and picked it up, leaving her alone to go and get it, as I had no one to stay with her, so I had to take the chance. And except for the neighbor next door, who just arrived home and would do me a favor of keeping an eye out while I went to pick up the prescription at Rite Aide for Mom. She could not get up on her own, so I did not worry too much about her getting out the front door and wondering off with her Dementia and full-blown Alzheimer’s disease.
The paramedics had arrived where they took her vitals as they always do in emergency situations and like a couple of weeks earlier while our landlord Dick Steyer (who formerly served on the City Council for several years and once even served as Alturas City Mayor) was having a new roof installed on our home that we were renting in Alturas, California. I had to call 911 then and that is when Mom first started to go downhill I was just not aware of it at the time. That is what started the chain of events for all the tests. The MRI that was ordered by the Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California the last time I called 911 where they took her from her bedroom; instead of the living room the last time the emergency personal EMT's came out to take her to the Modoc Medical Center. The Doctor ordered an MRI and a mammogram that was to be administered and the closest place to get the tests done was at Merle West Medical Center in Klamath Falls, Oregon for the MRI and the mammogram was going to be at Lake District Hospital in Lakeview, Oregon on two different occasions, dates and time.
The EMT's came to the conclusion after taking her vitals that Mom was ill enough to be transported to Modoc Medical Center. In the meantime, I put Feisty out in the backyard, put her food and water out so she would be taken care of until I got back. I could then meet up with Mom in the Emergency Room at Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California. I got ready and left as soon as I could. I spent the entire morning hours with Mom. This time they put her on oxygen and I did not think much about it at the time as I look back, but if I had been paying more attention and would not have been so tired, it would have been an indication that she was going downhill and going fast. But after a while, you take it for granted each and every time you take someone you love and care about to the hospital (you do not expect them to pass away as those thoughts are the last thoughts or last thing a person thinks about in situations like this one).
I stayed with Mom until they decided they needed to admit her and this was a first for Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California. The ER Doctor figured Mom was ill enough this time to be admitted and ordered Mom a room at Modoc Medical Center. I agreed and waited until they moved her to a room and stayed with Mom for a while, then I left to get a break by going back to the house to check up on Feisty to see how she was doing since I had been away at the Modoc Medical Center with Mom most of the day.
I do not recall what time it was when I left, but I took a break at home to get something to eat and rest myself before heading back to Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California with the plan on spending the rest of the afternoon and evening with Mom. By the time I returned Mom was giving the staff a hard time about keeping the oxygen tube in her nose. My Mom was most of the time a good patient until they piss her off then she lets them know what she thinks of them in a nice way until she reaches her toleration for pain, then she screams at them to get out the way she is going home. Most of the comments over the years have always been by people she meets for the first time or they have known her for awhile. They always called her a 'sweetheart' and they just loved her. Even staff or ER personnel at just about every Medical Clinic or Medical Center Mom has been to over the years since I have been her full-time caregiver 24/7. They always said to her that she was the best patient they ever had and she was a sweetheart.
It wasn’t till real late in the afternoon that they came to me and gave me two choices. By breaking the news to me I could either let Mom pass away in Alturas, California peacefully or they could transport Mom to Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California by way of Emergency Helicopter. They said there was a 50/50 percent chance they could do more for her in Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California as Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California did not have the facilities to care for her the way she now needed to be in an ICU unit at a major Medical Center and the nearest one to us in Alturas, California was Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California.
I was not ready or prepared to lose my Mom. I thought a 50/50 chance was better than no chance at all, and it was not like it was the first time I had to have her transferred to a better Medical Center with better facilities and surgeons at their disposal. This time there would be family members to meet Mom when she arrived at Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California. Compared to when Mom went by ambulance to St. Charles Medical Center in Bend, Oregon for an aneurysm in October of 2004 from Merle West Medical Center in Klamath Falls, Oregon.
Now here I was again in 2007 where I was given the odds at Modoc Medical Center Emergency room in Alturas, California about whether my Mom was going to live or die. The only thing I could think of to do was to go over to a Frankie Galli’s apartment, who had watched Mom when she lived in Tulelake, California, then she moved to the outskirts of Cederville California out on a ranch. I helped her to move so she would not have to drive over Cedar Pass in the wintertime, to help me with Mom when I needed her too. I stopped by her apartment where she was waiting for an update from me on Mom’s present condition. I shared with her the odds of what I was up against, the same information I was given from the ER doctor at Modoc Medical Center Emergency room.
I mentioned to Frankie I did not know if I was going to fly with Mom or drive and they were checking to see if I could fly or not. I picked Frankie up along with her three children and we headed back to the Modoc Medical Center Emergency room. We arrived at the Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California and went inside to see what the latest update was and how long it would before they would transport Mom to Redding, California. They were waiting to hear back from the EMT’s for the flight to Redding, California for Mom. And they were getting ready to put the air tube down her throat as Frankie Galli at the time held my Mom’s hand and was trying to make my Mom feel comfortable while I went outside to check on her three children.
When I got back they were almost ready to insert the tube. And it was decided I could not fly with Mom so I would have to drive. Frankie Galli and her three children drove to my house so I could get the 1998 van so I could drive to Redding, California. While Frankie Galli took her children home and would go by and take care of Feisty my dog, as this time I was not going to take Feisty with me. Frankie and children left and I started making phone calls, along with packing my bags for an extended stay in Redding, California with everything but the documents for Eternal Hills cemetery, because I felt if I did, then it meant I was giving up hope of Mom returning home with me. I gassed up and headed to Redding, California and calling my niece on my cell phone every chance I could as to where I was and if Mom had arrived yet. I drove as fast as I could and Mom had only been in Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California for little over an hour when I arrived, not bad for a three-hour drive and a flight from Alturas, California for Mom.
There were strong winds that night my Mother was flown from Alturas, California to Redding, California. In fact, I was going to fly with her too but, there was a weight problem due to the high winds that made the flight unstable. That is the standard reply as I have learned years later, they always use that one.
The one thing Mom had a fear of doing the most and that was flying in an airplane, less well a helicopter. Before she left the Modoc Medical Center in Alturas, California. Where they inserted a tube down her throat the last time I saw her conscience. They had to do that to make her heart rate slow down or at least that was what I was told at the time. She was flown in a biplane to Montgomery Creek, California and then transported to a helicopter to Redding, California from Montgomery Creek, California, due to the high winds that night.
I had not slept since 4:30 a.m. when all of this started on February 21st in Alturas, California. And there was no way I could rest until I knew Mom was going to be OK. I arrived and all of my sister’s entire relatives were in the waiting room. I did not recognize any of them, as I had no contact with my sister’s grandchildren. Talk about being uncomfortable with people I know hated my guts. I decided to step back and let the Redding, California relatives spend as much time with my Mom as I could because I knew they would eventually get tired and go home to their beds after Mom was taken to ICU and they visited with her. Then I would be the only one that now my home would be the hospital for however long this stay would be this time.
They soon all went home and I visited for a while with Mom and then left to get something to eat and I went to Jack-in-box to get a break and try and rest in the van and then go back into ICU at Mercy Medical Center before the shift change from the graveyard shift to the day shift. I tried to sleep and I was unable to, so I tried to get back in ICU at Mercy Medical Center before the shift change and they would not let me in. I went then back to my van and tried to get some more rest without any luck.
I was so tired when I was with her that morning waiting to see if my sister was going to get there to give me a break. They say that when a patient is hooked up on breathing tubes they can hear you, they just cannot speak. I asked my Mom if she heard me and if she did to squeeze my hand and she did. I then got up and looked at her in the face and I could see this tiny tear coming from her left eye, as I reached over and gave her kiss. I was so tired at the time I could hardly keep my eyes open, but yet so overtired I was unable to sleep. I was like a walking zombie because by this point I had been up and awake by now somewhere near 27 hours without sleeping.
I stepped back and let the family visit with my Mom and maybe that might have been one of my mistakes in her care. I usually was right on top of it with the doctors, but I was so tired I just let it slip and gave my sister and her family time with Mom to say their goodbyes and yet I was the one that had not accepted the fact that she was dying. In my mind, I would be taking her home soon again, that is why I left all the funeral documents from Eternal Hills Memorial Gardens at home, because if I had brought them with me it would have been a sure sign I had lost all hope, even though the thoughts crossed my mind as I was driving to Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California from our home in Alturas, California. Even though I thought I had everything covered I knew there was going to be something I overlooked if she did pass away and the fact how my life would change in an instant and forever. And it did.
That afternoon on February 22, 2007, in Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California at 2:00 p.m. I received a code blue, and as soon as I answered the phone in my room. Where I had just laid my head down for the first time in 40 hours in the Hospice room for out of the area patients for their family.
That afternoon on February 22, 2007, in Mercy Medical Center in Redding, California at 2:00 p.m. I received a code blue as soon as I answered the phone in my room. I had just laid my head down for the first time in 40 hours in the Hospice room for out of the area patients for their family.
I left the room and headed up towards the hospital as I prayed along the way. I just knew and had a feeling at the time that she was gone. I did not rush because I knew her time had come. I was the only one that could make the call on them stopping CPR before they cracked her ribs. That is what I heard someone yelling behind me as I entered ICU. I yelled out, “Where is my sister, where is my sister?” I heard someone behind me once again say, “She is in the room with your mother”. When I arrived in her room the only person I saw standing there was my niece Jamie Pokorny and I then yelled out, “Stop! Stop!” They stopped administering CPR and she was gone. Then my sister arrived and said, “Why didn’t you wait for me? I told her, “I couldn’t someone said they were going to break her ribs if they kept it up. They told me you were here but it was Jamie who was standing here, not you at the time when I came in the room. I asked where you were and they said you were in the room. Then a few moments passed and my sister said to me while holding my Moms’ hand. “We need to go out and tell the grandchildren about their grandmother passing away”. I said, “Not me. They hate my guts, sorry. You will have to do that by yourself.” Then my sister got upset once again that I did not wait for her to make the call to have them stop CPR.
The next thing I had to do was to stop at the nurse’s station and make the arrangement to move Mom out of the hospital and to the local mortuary. They made the call and made the arrangements for me with Allen & Dahl Funeral Chapel: Redding, California (CA) to come pick her up and I would go there in the morning to complete the rest of the arrangements.
As I was leaving and my sister had gone out to break the bad news to her grandchildren I went to give her a hug and she turned away from me. And yelled once again in front of her grandchildren about me not waiting for her. When my niece Jamie spoke up once again and tried to explain to her mother what happened. I then left and just walked down the hallway all alone the same way I came into this world, alone.
Where the last moment I remember with her with the breathing tube down her throat where I told her the last time I saw her alive how much I loved her and I did not think she was going to die; otherwise I would have seen to it she was given last rights before a person passes onto the next. I knew my Mom loved the Lord without a doubt, so there was no need to do it. Little did I know at the time that it was my last kiss to her and my final one while she was alive? How was I to know that in reality, it was my final kiss goodbye to my Mother and final moment with her while she was still alive?
These were the moments in time, as I now look back, that I did not know if it was the flu that was catching up with her, or if she was dying and these would be the last moments she and I would spend together, as I was trying to nurse her back to better health again. The moments that I will cherish, as they were the last moments where Mom and I were letting each other know, how much we loved each other and what she meant to me, and what I meant to her. The moments that my family will never have, that they lost because they did not want to make the effort to make the three-hour drive to visit her, while she was alive, with the exception of one niece (my Mom's favorite granddaughter Amber Prevost).
The afternoon that she passed away they mourned the loss with their individual families, I spent it alone but thank God I had Joel Dooley and his girlfriend and a senior friend to my Mom and I, Faith Rogers stopped by the Hospice room I had at Mercy Medical Center because I had nowhere else to stay and I did not want to burden any of my friends in Redding, California. Good thing I left my dog Feisty at home or I would had to have her too with me and that would have been even worse to deal with the passing of my Mom and take care of dog too.
After she passed away they wanted her buried in Redding for their convenience. Now they will have to make the three-hour drive to put flowers on her grave in Klamath Falls, Oregon at Eternal Hills Memorial Gardens.
Above is something they will never have and that is their name on her marker or death certificate but I will, forever!
Dealing with a Death
Acceptance: Acceptance of losing a loved one is a tough task. For opening up your heart to express what you feel about the loss it is necessary that you first accept and digest the fact that he or she is no more. It is natural for the relatives or people extremely close to go into denial. But you cannot live in an elusive world and life is unfair as it is. You have to come to terms with the blaring truth. But that does not mean you rush into forcing yourself to take it in. It will take time to sink in a few days, months. It has to, eventually, because life has to go on.
Venting Out: Speak out as much as you want about that person and how you are feeling about his or her death. This will further help you get a grip on the truth. Cry, let out your emotions if you want to or feel like. Crying acts like a pressure system for your heart. A load of emotions sometimes gets a bit too much. Crying out gives you relief in such a situation. This is not to say that you cry so much so as to make your eyes puffy. The point is to express and vent your bottled feelings to family members and friends when dealing with grief after death.
Give it Some Time: Coping with grief over the loss of a loved one is not an overnight solution. Obviously, it will take time for you to get out of the emotional setback. Never mind, let the things take their natural course. Time is the best healer, they say. Let some time go by. Be patient and make up your mind that it is a long process and it will take time.
Duty Towards Yourself: You have to take care of yourself at least for the sake of others who care for you. Starving yourself or not eating or not taking proper rest is unfortunately not going to help get that individual back ( I know this is a bit harsh and easier said than done, but still you have to try). Therefore, taking proper rest, eating and doing everything as before will perhaps make things easier for you. This will be for your own good ultimately.
Distraction Works: I know when you are dealing with the death of a loved one, everything seems to have come to naught. Even then, brace yourself and do things which will divert your mind from the thoughts of the grievous death. This will prove effective at least for some time. Forgetting totally about that person will be almost next to impossible.
Get in Touch with Others with Similar Experience: Try and reach out to others with similar experience and exchange ideas and share the grief. If you are feeling 'WHY ME', then this might be a good option to ponder over. You will know that there are people like you, pained and aggrieved and shocked and traumatized. Be open to putting across your emotions and listening to what they have to say and vice versa. This way you would have helped the others in dealing with a death.
How to Deal with Grief
The pain of losing a loved one can shatter one's life. The emotional turmoil that one goes through at this stage can rob one of sanity. It is important to know how to deal with grief, so that one can prevent his/her life from falling apart...
Of the wide spectrum of human emotions, grief is probably the most profound one. It's very difficult to come to term with the loss or death of a loved one, and it may take days and even years to come out of the shock.
Politics
Politics is a process by which groups of people make decisions. The term is generally applied to behavior within civil governments, but politics has been observed in all human group interactions, including corporate, academic, and religious institutions. It consists of "social relations involving authority or power" and refers to the regulation of a political unit, and to the methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policy. "Politics" ultimately comes from the Greek word "polis" meaning state or city. "Politikos" describes anything concerning the state or city affairs. In Latin, this was "politicus" and in French "politique". Thus it became "politics" in Middle English( see the Concise Oxford Dictionary).
There is no academic consensus on the exact definition of "Politics" and what counts as political and what does not. Max Weber defined politics as the struggle for power.
Left-right politics
Recently in history, political analysts and politicians divide politics into left wing and right wing politics, often also using the idea of center politics as a middle path of policy between the right and left. This classification is comparatively recent (it was not used by Aristotle or Hobbes, for instance), and dates from the French Revolution era, when those members of the National Assembly who supported the republic, the common people and a secular society sat on the left and supporters of the monarchy, aristocratic privilege and the Church sat on the right. The meanings behind the labels have become more complicated over the years.
The meaning of left-wing and right-wing varies considerably between different countries and at different times, but generally speaking, it can be said that the right wing often values tradition and social hierarchy or private property while the left wing often values reform and egalitarianism.
Politics From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at wikipedia.org
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