Family Tribes
With the holidays coming to a close as Christmas has now past, as we look forward to the end of 2018. For some it could be bad and they can't wait for the new year to begin. For others, it could be they don't want to see it end because they are having the time of their lives. And depending where you fall on the political spectrum. Well, what can I say? You either support the president or you don't, there is no in-between. You are either for him or against Trump, however you want to look at it.
Before my mom passed away in 2007, my siblings regressed to their individual tribes. Starting with my eldest brother who I just recently discovered through my other brothers' wife that he passed away four years ago and the only ones who attended his funeral were his oldest son and my other brothers wife. My oldest brother wanted nothing to do with any family members, so he chose to distance himself from the rest of the family.
But he wasn't alone as my oldest sister had chose to do the same with her family to go her way and distance herself as well. She had choose to follow suit and keep her family as far away from her siblings as well.
Then, there is my other brother and his family who choose to distance himself and his family from the rest of his siblings, too. They all live in the same city and yet somehow never cross paths or avoid each other when they come in close proximity of each other.
Fortunately, for me I don't have that problem as I live nowhere near any of them. In fact, I live as far away from them as I can and when people ask if I have any brothers and sisters. I just tell them I was an only child and leave it at that. I am not at a great distance but far enough for me to not to have to worry about them crossing my path or me theirs.
Each sibling with their own tribes and not worrying about being related to the other tribe members. They celebrate the holidays alone among their own tribes without the burden of family at least not the one they were born in. They have their own individual family now without any contact with their other siblings. Including me.
Funny how it ended up that way. They each have their homes pretty much as they were the day our mother passed away. However, for me my whole world and life was turned upside down and I had to start all over again. As I took care of her for seven years 24/7 before she passed away in February 2007, five days before her 83rd birthday. We moved from the city where all my brothers and sister lived to a place north of where they lived. And from that point until she passed away. I would take her for visits once in awhile but after she passed away there was no more contact with any of them and I had no interest of doing so either.
So here we all are in 2018, one brother gone and the rest not speaking or socializing with one another, including myself. And that is the way we like it. Each sibling living their lives without any contact with the other. It may have to do with we were forced to be together by our mom but since she is no longer here to keep us together. We have choose to do just that, stay as far away as we can from each other, as there seems to be no love loss from any of us for doing so for that matter.
After all these years I still had things that belonged to my mom and went through it and placed things my mom had kept from each family and gathered it together to be sent to them as I surely didn't need or want it in my belongings anymore. I sent each family things that mean something to them and no one else in the family. Only problem is it ended up being only one address that I could locate that was good enough to send the things too.
And that ended up being my other brothers' wife where after I sent the first package months ago. I would at least make an attempt to call this time and make sure the package arrived and found my two nieces Facebook pages, and left messages there, that I had sent a package for their mom or dad to pass onto other family members, if at all possible, since they all live in the same city. Easier for them, than for me.
In the process is when I was told about my brothers' passing and had to hear how bad my mom was such a bad mother by my sister-in-law who resented my mom always treating my sister's kids like little king and queens and my sister-in-laws kids getting second best and the same with my older brother kids as well. Her mother always made up for it though. So, why has she been whining all these years, over nothing. In my mom's eyes my sister came first, and most of the time I came second, because I was the baby, but for no other reason, except I was the baby.
My sister should have been the one to take care of my mom until she passed away, but it didn't work out that way. The baby was given that responsibility and they resented that too. But none of them wanted the job or responsibility of doing it. Yet, they would each moan and groaned about everything I did, but would not lift a hand to help me or come and visit my mom while she was alive. Well, now if they want to visit her they have to drive 3 and half hours and put flowers on her grave, and my grandmother, who is not buried too far away from each other.
As my moms last wish was to find her mother's grave and put a marker on it and be buried as close to her as she could, and I did that for both of them. Since my mom lost her mom in a dear hunting accident in 1938, when my mom was 14 years old and her brother eleven years old at the time in 1938.
My sister-in-law was not perfect either, even though in her eyes she is, compared to my mom and grandmother. Since she claims she has been told all the history. Who cares now, the woman is dead and her mother is dead too. The past is the past, just leave it where it belongs, in the past, instead of carrying it inside to eat at you. You can't change the past, none of us can. So what is the point?
Then my mother's brother's family I am not too close with either, but the recent Christmas Card I received said, "Peace on Earth" From your family. No names attached, but it could have been only one of two of my cousins. My first cousin and her son my second cousin, and now his new born baby boy, my third cousin now. But by the time he grows up, I will be long gone.
I may not have children of my own to leave behind, but I do have lots of stories I have written over the years as personal writings. And local and national news stories read world-wide, videos I have taken and uploaded to YouTube and plays, and screen plays I have written that will be here after I am long dead and gone to show I was here and left my mark by all the writings, videos, plays I have written over the years for others to enjoy, and read over and over again.
I may not have children to leave behind as they do but I have my works of art instead that will go on forever, and hopefully never die, as their children and their children's children will someday die. But my works of art will go on and on forever, as long as people enjoy reading my stories world-wide, and watching videos I produced, pictures I have taken, can they say the same? I doubt it. So it is best the ways thing have turned out, they can live their lives and I can live mine, forever.
Best Wishes,
James C. Garland
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