"Up from here" Chapter 7: Pacifica, California

As soon as I landed at the San Francisco International and went through immigration and showed the officials I was a United States citizen. My depression became a manic state once again. I knew I was home, back in the USA finally again. Home Sweet; Home more or less in the USA... It was about 11:00 a.m. and I needed to find a phone so I could find a hotel room to get some rest from what soon would be jet lag. Anyone experiencing jet knows what I mean. It might be 11:00 a.m. pacific time but my body clock was telling me it was 4:00 a.m. South Korean time. I needed to get some rest. The sun was out and the adrenalin and excitement of leaving behind the depression and now having a mood swing and a fresh start was a great feeling. No one to answer to other than an agreed upon a partnership with my ex-boss now in South Korea, Mr. OH.

Where we both had plans to start a recruiting business of hiring English Second Language Teachers for his schools and other schools when he did not need teachers for his and sister’s schools. I found a hotel room downtown and they sent a driver to pick me up at the airport. The driver loaded my suitcases and off we went to the hotel. I do not recall the name of the hotel. I just remember they had great pastries in the mornings.

One of the first things I needed to do was find a bank so I could buy money orders for the $7,000.00 cash I had on me and in my briefcase. I went to a Bank of America and exchange all the cash into traveler’s checks. That way I would not lose my money if someone would happen to try and steal them. I could always have them replaced and I did not want to be walking around San Francisco with seven grand or leave it in my hotel room.

I exchanged the cash and then picked up a newspaper to start looking in the want ads for a room I could rent. I think it took me about three days and I found one and the person even came and picked me up to take me to go and see it. His name I think was Bert and he picked me up out front of the Hotel and off we went.

When we got to the house where the room was located Burt took me up to see it. It was a loft area in a nice house. It had stairs leading up to it. It had a big screen TV, a couch that made into a bed, a small icebox, microwave, a bar area with a sink and a bathroom with a toilet and shower. Even a private line telephone came with the room. I liked it, it was nice. So we came to an agreement of $650.00 a month. That was steep but I did not think I would have found anything any cheaper at the time. The deal was first month’s rent of $650.00 and deposit of $200.00. It was Bert’s house but he had another roommate that he wanted me to meet and they both would decide together. They agreed and I signed over enough traveler’s checks to cover the rent and the deposit. Burt then agreed to take me back and would pick me up the next morning when I checked out of my hotel room with my luggage.

It was located in Pacifica and if I needed to go downtown to San Francisco I could catch the Bart or a Bus to get there. One of the next things now was to find where I could get on the Internet and during that time there was the Library and Internet Cafés. I did both. The Library was free but limited to a half an hour online. The Internet Café’s cost me by the hour. I could at least check my email and contact Mr. OH or call him or his Ms sister Ms OH on the phone from my new room in Pacifica. I remember a couple of times when I was in Kumi, City South Korea. Ms. OH would take Armand and me out to dinner and pay for it. I never felt comfortable with her doing that, so I always would chip in and stuff money back in her purse. Because she would not allow us to pay for our dinner as that is part of the Korean Culture. They seem to always want to be the one paying for the meals. Male and female Korans always like to do that for foreigners. I never liked that part of their culture I always felt foreigners took advantage of it. Not me, I preferred to Dutch that way I felt it was friendship and not one person taking the advantage of friends.

During this time I went to a business convention and decided I needed a website if I was ever going to get this business off the ground. I had already got a private P.O. Box and business cards make up. All I needed now was a website explaining about Mr. OH’s and our new business partnership of ESL Prime Recruiting. I do not recall the exact name we used for the business but it had Prime Recruiting in it somewhere.

I came across this person who was building websites as a business so I ordered one. He wanted $500.00 to do it at the time. I had no choice I had no idea how to do it my self and I did not have much choice if I wanted to get our business online. That was the beginning of my experience of the Internet. I was a new to the Internet. All I knew how to do at the time was email and web searches, which were my extent of the knowledge I had at the time with the Internet.

I remember trying to reach out to my uncle Gary at the time from my room in Pacifica. To try and thank him once again for what he and his wife did for me when I was visiting him when I was in my early twenties the last time I saw him. When I wanted to relocate to where he lived. I remember that winter, it rained all the time but I was still out there every day putting in Applications.

I remember I even put an application in at Apple Computers when they were still a young company. Before I left he paid for my way to see the Winchester House in San Jose. They lived in Sunnyvale, California, real close to San Jose, California. My uncle was an engineer and so was his wife. In fact, Uncle Gary was one of the engineers who helped to design the 747’s when he worked for Boeing. Gary had the same father John Donaldson as my Mom but not the same mother.

Uncle Gary, and his older brother Jerry I think and their youngest sister Carolyn or sometimes like that and their mother Katherine. My other Uncle Dick (Richard) my mom’s full brother also worked for Rockwell when they lived in Norwalk, California. I think he was an Engineer too. I do not recall for certain in this case as I was too young and the last time I saw Uncle Dick is when he was still alive back in October 2004 the last time I saw him. I did not think about asking if he did or not. It was not important at that time. I had other things I was dealing with at that time in October 2004.

This guy I bought the website design was taking too long to build it. I was running out of money and if I did not find a teacher soon I was going out of business. Between the trips to downtown San Francisco and the Internet Café’s, I was going broke. Plus the rent and food for the past three months had eaten up my seven grand fast. Faster then I had planned it would. I would have been better off if I would have just gone straight back to Redding and lived with my Mom and saved money. I could have a bought a nice car with the money I spent in Pacifica or had nice time somewhere with Jill and the kids. About the time he finally finishes the website I was almost broke. So canceled the check I wrote because he did not complete the job in time. Good thing he did not cash it before then. He came by the house and showed me the website. It was too late I had canceled the check but I did not tell him at the time. Besides, he overcharged me for the website anyway. What he built for me I could have built in no time at all now from the knowledge I have of building websites with HTML code.

I had to pack my bags at the end of July and leave on the first of August 1997 and head to Redding, California and stay with my Mom until I could find another place to live and a job. I left Pacifica and that was the end of that adventure and business partnership with Mr. OH. He wanted to pay me a salary but I wanted to do it on my own and I did. I went broke.

I caught a Greyhound Bus for Redding, California one-way and moved in with my Mom. My nephew David Lee Scott was also living with her too at the time when I arrived. All three of us living in a one-bedroom duplex on Locust Street with my Mom, David and I, where there was a carport in the middle separating the duplexes on Locust Street in Redding, California. Where David and I shared the living room. I slept on the couch and David slept on the floor. This was not going to be good as David and I never got along, even when he was a teenager we were always getting into arguments where my Mom would take his side and I would have to deal with the raft from my sister and my nieces for not agreeing with poor baby David who had to always have his way or else. David who was stoned out of his mind most of the time and high on some kind of drug. He was on SSI because he was Paranoid Schizophrenia mainly induced by all the crank and speed he shot in his veins. He at least had an income; I had nothing so I had to depend on my Mom until I could manage to get on my feet again.

I would spend time in the Library checking my email until I became a volunteer for the Internet with Elizabeth the Resource Librarian before they moved into the new Library. We lived on Locust until we found the house on Denton Way and by now I had applied for CalWorks. Where I worked in the back office of the welfare department photocopying clients bills and in one office where I had a desk to close old files and reuse the folders. With my four year college degree I was at least allowed to work in an area that I was accustom too, instead of picking up trash or cleaning restrooms for my General Relief and food stamps.

We moved to Denton Way where I bought my first home computer from a person my brother Richard Garland had recommended had used computers. (I still have that old Packard HP in storage in Alturas, California). I paid for the Internet Service to check my email and got more involved in the superhighway by web searches and chat rooms. During this time my brother’s Ted, my bother’s son Josh Dickinson and my other brother Rick who was having marriage problems with his wife Debbie.

I became an Internet Junkie while I was working at Liquor Barn until Thanksgiving Day and the Earth Quake in Redding, California. When my whole world at that time turned upside down. Ted, Josh, and Rick were no longer there. None of us could afford to rent the house anymore. The deal was at the time. Mom would pay half the rent and split it with David. I would pay the bank deposit and the electric Bill. We all bought our food differently. David moved out and Mom and I could not swing it by ourselves especially now since I had no income again. Mom moved to Kutras Gardens and I was homeless in February 1998.

Schizophrenia

What is schizophrenia?

Schizophrenia is a severe brain disease that interferes with normal brain and mental function-it can trigger hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, and significant lack of motivation. Without treatment, schizophrenia affects the ability to think clearly, manage emotions, and interact appropriately with other people. It is often disabling and can profoundly affect all areas of your life (for example, becoming unable to work or go to school). Being told that you or someone you love has schizophrenia can be frightening or even devastating. The best way to improve your quality of life with schizophrenia is to learn as much as you can about this condition and then adhere to the recommended treatment.

There are several types of schizophrenia, and the specific types are diagnosed based upon symptoms. The most common type is paranoid schizophrenia, which causes a person to have fearful thoughts and hear threatening voices. Schizophrenia does not involve multiple personalities and is not the same condition as dissociative identity disorder (also called multiple personality disorder or split personality).

What causes schizophrenia?

There are many theories about the cause of schizophrenia, but none have yet been proven. Schizophrenia may be a genetic disorder, since your chances of developing schizophrenia increase if you have a parent or sibling with the condition, but most people with relatives who have schizophrenia will not develop it. It may also be related to problems experienced during pregnancy (such as malnutrition, or being exposed to a viral infection) that damages the unborn child's developing nervous system.

What are the symptoms?

Schizophrenia causes two groups of symptoms: negative symptoms and positive symptoms.

Negative symptoms generally include apathy or lack of motivation, self-neglect (such as not bathing), and reduced or inappropriate emotion (such as becoming angry with strangers). Negative symptoms usually appear first and may be confused with depression.

Positive symptoms, which generally appear later, include symptoms such as hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized or confusing thoughts and speech. Symptoms of schizophrenia usually emerge in adolescence or early adulthood. Symptoms can appear suddenly or may develop gradually, often causing the illness to go unrecognized until it is in an advanced stage when it is more difficult to treat.

How is schizophrenia diagnosed?

Schizophrenia is diagnosed primarily with a medical history and a mental health assessment. Other tests, such as blood tests or imaging tests, may be done to rule out other conditions that can mimic symptoms of schizophrenia.

How is schizophrenia treated?

There is no cure for schizophrenia, but many people can effectively manage their symptoms with medicines and professional counseling.

Consistent, long-term treatment is critical to the successful management of schizophrenia. Unfortunately, people with schizophrenia often do not seek treatment or they stop treatment due to unpleasant side effects of medicines or lack of support.

Schizophrenia From WebMD at webmd.com

"Up from here" Chapter 8: Thanksgiving